How to embrace an Ashburton Halloween and live to tell the tale.
The cheap plastic decorations are going up outside the houses.
The Community Facebook messages warning about how that sticky webbing stuff all over your fence kills insects and wildlife PLEASE DON’T USE IT are popping up on your social media feed.
The High Street traders are gearing up for the Pumpkin Hunt on Saturday morning. This event involves using lollies to lure little kids into their shops in a totally non-creepy way as they hope the weather doesn't throw anything too vile at them.
Halloween in Ashburton is nearly here.
Yeah, I know. Halloween was not a thing when you were growing up. It’s a commercial day like Valentine’s Day with no real meaning. It’s a massive lolly harvest for kids who really don’t need to eat any more sugar.
You’re right. You’re jealous… but you’re still right. Yet somehow in the last few years, Halloween got big in Ashburton.
I was a late starter. I held on to my “it’s a stupid American tradition” Grinchiness for years. Then Covid hit and my poor kids were trapped in the house for months on end. When the Government announced they could be let out for Halloween Trick or Treating, I went all in. I even made my own decorations and I HATE CRAFT is my personal motto.
Turns out my desire for my kids to have at least some fun in 2020 overrode my half-baked principles.
That’s when I discovered … it’s really fun. You get to walk around the neighbourhood looking at houses and gardens. People you’ve never seen before come out and have a chat. Sometimes they even dress up or hang giant spiders from their fence. It’s all over by 7 pm, what’s not to like?
If you’re keen to get involved, here are nine simple rules for how to do the Halloween Lolly Harvest in Ashburton on the evening of Thursday, 31 October.
Rule 1: Only go to houses with decorations
This is the signal that the people who live there are ‘doing Trick or Treating’*. You can knock on the door or ring the bell.
* Nobody does the ‘trick’ part.
Rule 2: You don’t have to go nuts with the decorations
If you want to get involved you don’t have to go all out. My elderly neighbour has a small plastic bowl shaped like a pumpkin under the letterbox and puts lollies in it. That’s it.
Kids on Halloween are like the Great White Shark in Jaws smelling blood in the water. If there are lollies anywhere on your property, they will find and devour them before you've thought 'what's that splashing noise?'
Please don’t use that sticky synthetic webbing stuff. In Australia its Spring not Autumn like in the US. This means all the little animals, birds and insects are out with their babies, not starting to hibernate. The Facebook people are telling the truth. It really is very cruel to wildlife.
It is also a bitch of a thing to get off your fingers let alone wrangle over fences and plants.
Rule 3: You don't have to wear a costume but your kid should be in some semblance of one
Most kids rock up squeezed into the superhero outfit they’ve had since kinder. If they’re dressed in their Book Week costume, that’s fine too. You don’t have to make a massive effort, its not an American teenagers-on-Halloween movie. Cat ears and a bit of face paint is fine.
Rule 4: Only take one lolly from a bowl
Some people leave a bowl of lollies or chocolates out by the letterbox for kids to collect. This means you don’t need to knock on the door or ring the bell. Under no circumstances should you allow your child to take more than one. This is greedy. Trust me, they will get more than enough by the time you’re done.
If you’ve really raised them properly, they’ll refill an empty bowl from their own stash. I saw a kid do that on Instagram once but never in real life. It's probably an urban myth.
Rule 5: Only put out lollies in a wrapper
If you want to participate, only put out pre-packaged lollies. Freddo Frogs, Kit Kats, Skittle packets, lollypops are all good choices. It’s more litter but it’s more hygienic. It doesn’t have to be high quality or fancy stuff either. Do not put out anything with nuts, you don’t want to put some poor kid into anaphylactic shock. You can try ‘healthy’ options if you want. Good luck.
Remember you can always recycle soft plastic wrappers at the Boroondara Waste Centre on Riversdale Road.
Rule 6: You will be judged by other parents if you drive your kids around
Well, you’ll be judged by me at least. They’re going to get a massive haul of chocolate and lollies. The least you can do is make them exercise for it.
Seriously though, you can obtain plenty walking around three streets of your neighbourhood. That’s how you get to meet and chat to the neighbours!
Rule 7: It starts at around 5 pm and goes to around 7 pm.
I’ve had really little kids come by at 4 pm. If you decorated your house they can turn up pretty much after school knock-off time. But it doesn’t really kick off until parents get home from work after 5 pm. It’s wound up or moved inside houses by 7 pm. That’s when the older teenagers emerge pretending they’re in costume ‘as a teenager’ and wondering why there’s no lollies to harvest anymore.
A tip: letting your kids’ friends into your house means you’re having a Halloween Party. Consider yourself warned.
Rule 8: The weather will be unpredictable
It’s October in Melbourne. It may be 14 degrees or 40 degrees. The temperature could fluctuate between the two within half an hour.
You’re creating a magical experience for your kids/the neighbourhood kids. Keep reminding yourself of that as the rain pours down/wind blows your decorations away/heat melts all the chocolate into a messy clump in your bowl.
Rule 9: There are routes around the neighbourhood that emerge around 24 hours before
OK – so where exactly to go changes every year from one house to the next. This is a very general guide. If you live:
South Side of High Street you can start from Catalina Avenue, along Lancaster, Sunderland Avenue, Gloucester Road and make your way towards Warner Avenue.
If you live more towards Alamein Station, the good people of Crete Avenue have got into it in previous years. They tend to get cleaned out pretty quickly. If you walk up Alamein Avenue and Ashburn Grove, you’ll do fine too.
North Side of High Street: Fakenham Road, Eleanor Street and Baker Parade is a nice, rectangular walk of longish streets. You can crisscross in the connecting streets too and clean up nicely.
Glen Iris side: There used to be a lady on Munro Avenue who is seriously into Halloween. I’m not sure if she’s still there. Dent Street currently looks promising and is nice and flat. Then you get to walk up and down the hilly streets of Munro, Highgate, Lexia, and Ward. Think of the workout your calves get while you snack on a Kit Kat.
Solway side: Here you can start at the School and make your way around Nicholas and Dent Streets or down to Winton Road.
As you’re wandering around think about the history of our lovely suburb and how you can buy a book all about it. Sorry, can’t help myself.
And that’s it! Happy Halloween – whatever that means – and may the weather gods be ever in your favour!
Comments